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Zombies never call shotgun.
Subject: THE NEW TIGER WOOD JOKES
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball 300 yards.
Why did Tiger Woods hit a fire hydrant and a tree? He couldn't decide between an iron and a wood.
Tiger Woods wife is the only person who can beat him with a golf club!
What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing
What club did Elin use to 'rescue' her husband? A bitching wedge.
The Chinese are already making a movie about Tiger Woods' crash. They are calling it, "Scratching Swede, Lying Tiger."
Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family--his new name? Cheetah
What do Tiger Woods and baby seals have in common? They're both clubbed by Norwegians!
Tiger crashed his car because he was in a rush to move on to the second hole.
I saw this vid a couple weeks ago. With the CGI, now its even better. :)
http://www.break.com/index/drunkest-guy-ever-blaster-battle.html
-bg
@kerry: The protagonist of the movie is a 78-year-old who wears hearing aids. The irony's so thick you can cut it with a knife.
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Forwarded from my dad...
If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved?
If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan's holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved?
If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved?
If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved?
If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly
narcissistic and tacky?
If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia , would you have approved?
If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the non-existent"Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a minor slip?
If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannotseem to keep current on their income taxes,
would you have approved?
If George W. Bush's administration had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed
by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually get what happened on 9-11?
If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how he inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes?
If George W. Bush had failed to send relief aid to flood victims throughout the Midwest with more
people killed or made homeless than in New Orleans , would you want it made into a major ongoing
political issue with claims of racism and incompetence?
If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so,
would you have approved?
If George W. Bush had proposed to double the national debt, which had taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you have approved?
If George W. Bush had then proposed to double the debt again within 10 years, would you have approved?
So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive?
Can't think of anything? Don't worry.
He's done all this in 5 months -- so you'll have three years and seven months to come up with an answer.
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